


What's done cannot be undone

by Imnotweirdjustwriting



Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: Drinking, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 06:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12030255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imnotweirdjustwriting/pseuds/Imnotweirdjustwriting
Summary: Davy reads Shakespeare to Johnny





	What's done cannot be undone

**Author's Note:**

> The parts in italics are lines from Act 5 Scene 1 of Macbeth

_Hark! she speaks: I will set down what comes from her, to satisfy my remembrance the more strongly._

Johnny is sure he's heard the line before. He remembers the Davy read him almost 83 pages. He doesn't remember the plot or the characters. Davy doesn't mind. His warm baritone fills Johnny's apartment, pushing back the other noise.

Johnny is grateful, more than he can properly express. They haven't been doing this for very long, at least he thinks so. Davy comes over, checks to make sure Johnny hasn't forgotten anything today, then sits with him and reads him Shakespeare.

At first they sat far apart on the couch, Johnny with his legs swung up in the coffee table because it's his place and he'll do what he wants.

Now they sit closer, Johnny leaning against Davy's side as he reads. Davy manages to balance a book in one hand and a beer in the other, barely pausing his reading as he drinks.

Johnny sits and he listens because that's all he can do. He barely grips the words, just the sound of Davy's voice. It's calming and it's distracting and he wishes more than anything that he could remember what the hell is happening but he can't.

Davy continues reading the scene, the same one Johnny knows he's heard before. Johnny isn't sure if Davy is reading it for himself or not.

He's sure it doesn't matter.

 

_Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeared?_

Sleeping is a luxury that Johnny rarely enjoys. His medication makes him drowsy, sure, but he still can't sleep. When he's asleep his memory isn't so shattered. He wakes up in a cold sweat, his eyes blurred with tears, already forgetting what happened, his stomach rolling just like his Jeep.

Davy isn't as lucky and Johnny knows that. He pretends he's asleep when Davy sits bolt upright, his breathing unbearably loud in the darkness of the room. Johnny can always hear him reaching for the bottle he keeps on the dresser. Johnny thinks he's moved the bottle countless times, but he still doesn't know if it's just him forgetting or if Davy keeps putting it back. It doesn't matter anyways.

Davy takes a long drink that burns in his throat before laying back down.

Johnny can smell the alcohol on his breath as he moves closer to Johnny, finally sleeping once he's holding Johnny again.

Johnny stays awake, shaking a little bit in Davy's arms and too afraid to go to sleep. He'll sleep tomorrow. It's what he said yesterday.

 

_What, will these hands ne'er be clean?_

Sometimes Johnny stands in the bathroom staring at himself. He looks in the mirror, makes eye contact with himself, his eyes sunken and masked but the dark circles under them. He grips the sides of the sink with his hands, his knuckles white with the force. If he tries he can see the same white knuckles holding tight to a steering wheel.

He let's go, his hands shaking now. Thinking like that always makes his back hurt. He grabs his pills, shuffling towards the living room where Davy is reading, probably the same book they've been reading.

Johnny sits down next to him and shakes a pill into his hand. Davy hands him a bottle of something without comment, watching as he takes a swig to wash the pill down. He isn't sure how many he's taken today. He hopes Davy knows. He's sure it doesn't matter.

Davy takes the bottle back and kisses him, his mouth burning with whiskey, and this at least Johnny knows. He knows the taste in his mouth and on his tongue, sometimes from the drinks he has himself.

Johnny isn't sure if it's the pain medication or the kiss that's taking the feeling away but he's thankful for both of them. Davy's lips against his are a firm reminder that this is real and this is happening. This Johnny will remember. Not whatever brand of whiskey burned down both of their throats, not the book they're reading or how many pills he's had today. Just the feeling of Davy, the memory of his lips. It's something out of nothing.

 

_Here's the smell of blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand._

Davy reads loudly enough that Johnny can hear him over the drumming. It's a good day, he thinks. He can remember the part they're on, the same part they're always on. His head feels like maybe he only flipped two times, not three. He plays a steady beat, warming himself up.

He can play all he wants but he knows it's not going to last. He knows that once he stops, once Davy's voice stops pooling between the breaks in the song, it will all come back. Johnny wants to play forever if it means he doesn't have to let go of this.

He only plays for a few more songs.

Davy doesn't finish the scene. 

 

_he cannot come out of on's grave._

Johnny lays his head on Davy's lap as he reads. This time he remembers. He can mouth along to the lines, cracking a smile at Davy as he reads a little bit faster. He kissed Davy's cheek when it's a boring part, effectively distracting them both. Maybe it's not his memory that's the problem, it's just that he can't stay away from Davy long enough to finish the whole thing.

Johnny takes the book from Davy, cutting him off mid monologue. He kissed him, pulling Davy down to him. Davy kisses him gently and Johnny just wishes he wouldn't but he keeps kissing him because this is okay.

Johnny can't remember last names or medication refills or to eat dinner but at least he can remember Davy. He won't ever forget Davy.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this even coherent its 2 am and I've never written bandstand before.


End file.
